How to Look Busy During Standups: A Dev’s Guide
Because sometimes the real sprint is pretending you know what's happening.
Ah, daily standups.
The sacred 15-minute ritual where everyone looks busy, nods dramatically, and secretly prays they won’t get asked a direct question. At their best, standups help sync the team.
At their worst, they’re a live-action performance of "Pretend You’re Not Panicking, Act Natural."
We've all been there—it's 9:30 AM, your coffee hasn’t kicked in yet, and it’s your turn to speak at the standup. The only issue? You have no idea what's actually going on.
Fear not, fellow devs; I've mastered the fine art of looking incredibly busy during standups, even when I’m secretly lost —because sometimes, survival is about vibes, not velocity.
Here’s your unofficial, unhinged guide to thriving in the chaos.
The Starter Kit: Essential Moves
If you want to look convincingly busy, you’ll need to master these basics:
🗣️ Mastering Developer Buzzwords
Nothing says “I’m definitely on task” quite like confidently dropping buzzwords. Here are a few tried-and-true favorites:
"Refactoring"
"Investigating edge cases"
"Running integration tests"
"Looking into optimization"
Sprinkle these throughout your update to sound perpetually busy, even if your biggest achievement is remembering your password.
📈 The Power of Jargon
Sprinkle in just enough tech jargon to sound confidently involved:
“I’m refactoring some legacy code today.”
“Digging into the API docs for integration.”
“Working through some deployment pipeline quirks.” It doesn’t have to make sense—it just needs to sound good.
🤔 Strategic Note-Taking
Always have a notepad open (digital or physical—it doesn’t matter). Scribble furiously during other people's updates. Are you taking detailed notes or planning your lunch? Nobody needs to know.
Bonus points for adding thoughtful “Hmm, interesting…” under your breath. Not only does this give off serious "busy professional" vibes, but you’ll actually have notes to refer to later when you finally wake up.
📈 The Art of Nodding
A well-timed nod conveys engagement and comprehension.Pair it with thoughtful squinting and occasional murmurs of agreement (“Makes sense,” or “Good point!”).
Instant credibility achieved, zero actual knowledge required.
😅 Embrace the ‘Thinking Face’
Develop a convincing thinking face—eyebrows slightly furrowed, eyes slightly squinted, maybe even gently rubbing your chin. It's the ultimate busy-but-deep-in-thought look.
Pro tip: Add a slow nod for maximum effect.
🖥️ Screen Sharing Bluff
Occasionally volunteer to share your screen—briefly. Keep a complex-looking page of code ready. Nobody will challenge you if it looks complicated enough.
Bonus points if your editor is set to dark mode (for extra professionalism).
🤔 Ask Vague Yet Intelligent-Sounding Questions
When in doubt, a general question saves the day:
“Are there any blockers I can help with?”
“Should we sync up on that later?”
“Do we need to circle back on this?” These magical phrases imply you're engaged, helpful, and very much in the loop—even if the loop is completely imaginary.
💬 Default Responses
Prepare go-to responses when caught off guard:
"I’m still digging into that issue—it's trickier than it looks."
"I've made some progress, but there's more to unpack here."
"I'm syncing with [Insert teammate name] on that today."
What NOT To Do
🚫 Yawn visibly
🚫 Ask what sprint we’re in (again)
🚫 Leave your mic on while you whisper “I have no idea what’s happening”
🚫 Start screen sharing and reveal the YouTube tab open to “baby goats in pajamas”
(Unless, honestly, that last one might improve morale.)
Standups: the daily ritual where you try to sound productive, coherent, and awake— all before your coffee has kicked in. Let’s face it, some days your biggest accomplishment is just opening your IDE. Don’t worry, I've got your back.
Look, some standups are genuinely useful.
Some are...not.
Sometimes, looking busy is an act of professional survival.
And that’s okay.
Because while we may not always know what’s happening mid-sprint,
we do know how to survive until the next coffee break.
Looking busy during standups isn't about deceit—it's survival. Remember, every developer occasionally fakes it till they make it.
And if you’re nodding along right now, congrats—you’ve mastered another standup.
